Early this morning, I sat with my angel in a room in my mind. She was sitting in front of a candle and she asked me to come sit down and stare at the flame with her. As it flickered and glowed, I saw the many busy thoughts buzzing in my mind. The more I paid attention to them, the more I noticed how many of them were rooted in fear.
For each section of my life, I carry fears.
I have fears about my parenting, my relationships, my past decisions, my house, my business, my health, my eating, my son’s future, the planet’s future, my lack of proper retirement planning, the well-being of people I love, my aging…etc. My angel Cassandra was asking me to notice this. It was like she was saying,
“Take a look at this. See how your mind is so busy in fear. Fear is busy. Fear is a very busy bee. Now look at this flame with me. Let’s just look at this flame.”
So I did. We sat there together in the center of the room and stared at the flame. Soon everything grew quiet. I arrived at the stillness that exists in my mind also. It was as if I was now in the quiet of the flame and all the busyness was outside. I could see it. I could hear its gentle buzzing sound but I wasn’t in it.
Then Cassandra explained something interesting.
She told me that this is where the angels love to help me bring people in my work. Everything I do in my work is to bring people here to this place where everything grows quiet. She said it grows quiet because fear does not exist in stillness. Fear is busy. Truth is not. Truth is quiet and peaceful. She also explained that it is hard to hear God or see the truth of who you really are when you are paying attention to the fear buzzing in your mind. She said it’s not a matter of getting rid of the fears or healing them or transforming them. She said they will always be there but paying attention to them or not is the spiritual practice. Observing them, noticing them…These are good things but forgetting to step back and become the observer is dangerous because you can get lost in the noise of your fears. You can get lost for lifetimes in the noise.
Getting lost in the noise looks like fixing
Always trying to change or fix something. Living in the noise keeps you very busy. You have to plan, make lists, make resolutions, committ to changing, grow, improve, heal, transform and be different. All because you are somewhere you don’t like and you are scared you will be stuck there forever.
Removing yourself from the noise looks much different.
It looks like stillness. It looks like peace. And in the stillness you realize you are somewhere that you like, somewhere that makes you feel good and you didn’t have to change a thing about yourself or your life to get there. All the little corners of your life that were troubling you are still there. Your problems have not been resolved yet, lo and behold, here you are in a space that feels so good.
Then Cassandra said this quiet place is like medicine. It is like medicine for your heart and for your mind. Without this medicine, the busy fear thoughts get louder. They start to run the show. They start to control what you say, the decisions you make and how you spend the time in your life.
Then she told me her wish for me is…
…that I remember to take my daily dose of medicine. She hopes I take a moment every day to remove myself from the noise… or at least to observe the noise and see it for what it really is…a lot of busy nonsense.