“I exist because I have my women friends. They make me stronger. They make me braver. They tap me on the shoulder when I might be in need of course correcting.” Jane Fonda
In my last Moon Sisters circle, we were discussing the term “highly sensitive people”. It’s a term I came to know from social media and yes, I know I’m late to the game and that term is not new but that’s what happens when you veer on the side of Hermit…you’re never really up on latest trends (exhibit A: my closet). I’ve also since learned that Elaine Aron wrote a book helping us sensitive souls get to know ourselves better called, “The Highly Sensitive Person: How to Thrive When the World Overwhelms You.” I plan on reading it someday…along with the other 5000 books on my ‘Dana, read this shit already!!’ list.
Side note: Seriously, I think time should grow and stretch according to all the great things I want to learn, see and do. My stomach stretches and grows according to all the great food I like to eat so I think it’s only fair time learns to accommodate my appetite for life too.
As I understand it, highly sensitive people have a nervous system that is wired a little differently than usual which makes us:
- Dislike loud aggressive sights, sounds and smells
- Enjoy deep and meaningful inner lives
- Easily pick up and absorb other people’s emotions and thoughts
- Unable to handle a lot of things going on at the same time
For me, it means I hate synthetic smells and experience headaches from perfume. I get crazy annoyed at my son’s video game noises and yell at him from the other room to put on his head phones before I punch the TV in the face. I feel drained when I’m around too many people for long periods of time especially when socializing means all we talk about is diet, nails and botox…OMG, kill me now!! I need to live somewhere nature has a bigger presence than people or buildings. And I have to honor and respect that my pace is slower and I can’t do as many activities in a day as other women I see.
As an Intuitive Therapist, I see so many highly sensitive mothers who are clueless they have different needs. They push themselves to raise their families at the same crazy high paced speed their culture runs at. They don’t decompress, unload, clear or release their emotional and energetic bodies so they are carrying around way more crap than their bodies are happy with. They dismiss their hurts and judge themselves as being too difficult, picky, weak, touchy or day I say…sensitive. They judge their emotional needs as weaknesses and don’t see the strength and beauty in being so highly attuned to the world around them. And they hate taking the time to care for and nurture their sensitivities. They just want to plough through life not worrying about tending to their delicate nature.
The benefits of a sacred, conscious sisterhood, especially a small, intimate one with the same group of women, is that highly sensitive mothers can let go of everything they haven’t had time to release as they went about their everyday lives.
Highly sensitive mothers hang onto so much more than they are aware of.
In the back of their minds and the secret corners of their hearts and floating around their sensitive energy fields they carry:
- Other people’s feelings and thoughts
- Their own stress
- Other people’s expectations of them
- Things that weren’t said but implied
- The unspoken thoughts, judgments, worries, fears and concerns of everyone around them
- The negative vibes of the rooms and spaces they were in throughout the week
All of this hanging on is tiring. It causes sensitive hearts to lose sight of their inner compass. It takes a toll on their bodies. It makes them feel heavy. It exhausts their adrenals and they become burdened.
In a sacred sisterhood where you are taught to honor your spirit and care for your tender heart, you can slowly let go of all the garbage you’ve been hanging onto and no longer need.
And as the garbage falls away, you start to see yourself…really see yourself for who it is you really are, what it is you really want and the difference you are here to make.
I have been passionate about sisterhood most of my life. It might be because I grew up without a sister while I watched my mom laugh and argue with her ten sisters. It might be because in my darkest hours as a child, my best friend supported and loved me and filled my gloomy days with regular shots of sunshine. Whatever caused it sisterhood now burns a fire in my soul and is one of those flavors in life I don’t want to miss savoring.
I love sisterhood so much I’ve created a special sort of women’s circle. It blends art and ceremony along with intuition and my emotion based therapy. It’s a special blend of magic, healing, creativity, miracles and wine.
In my circle, I:
- Help the women who join me learn to feel safe enough to share what they are really thinking and feeling
- Lead them through a comfortable and very effective process of addressing and healing the areas in their lives where they feel stuck or stagnant
- Show them how life starts to flow with ease when they learn to live from their hearts
Women’s circles like the one I’ve built help you feel seen and heard by your sisters but most importantly, by yourself. And highly sensitive mothers need this because they are always looking outward. They are busy thinking about the emotional needs of everyone around them they forget to see themselves and this is how they lose themselves.
If you feel like you could use some gentle guidance finding yourself again and you love the idea of joining a sacred sisterhood but don’t live near one, think about starting one. There are great online courses to support you through the process. Personally, I took Tanishka’s Red Tent online course. You can read about that here.
If you just want to sit in the energy of sisterhood for a few minutes longer before you get on with your day, scroll down and check out this lovely conversation on Ted.com with Jane Fonda and Lily Tomlin. They share their thoughts on women relationships and remind us of the importance of female friendships.